Chic Workout Attire That Will Motivate You To Stick To Your New Year's Resolution

  Since we’re only three days into 2018, you’re probs still on a “new year, new me” high. Let’s see how long this year’s resolutions last, shall we? From swearing off drinking to promising yourself you’ll lose three pounds by next spring, I give it like, a week—but in the meantime, let’s actually put in some effort, k? I feel like we could all benefit from cutting shit out of our lives for as long as we can resist the urge. We’d be rewarded with better skin, a better metabolism, and a smaller pants size. Again, it’s only January 3rd, so I could be spewing bullshit, but there’s really no better motivation to get started on this health kick like shopping for new workout clothes. First of all, they’re comfortable and make me look thinner as it is. Second of all, whether I go to a gym or not, everyone […] Read more »

8 Ways Celebs Get Their Bodies Ready For Award Shows

    Award shows are about so much more than which movies are worth seeing this year. The 75th Golden Globes were on last night, and ICYMI, almost every woman wore black to show support for the Time's Up movement and Oprah gave the best speech in the history of award show speeches—two important talking points. While we're totally into the all-black wardrobe choice, we're also literally floored by how good everyone looks on the red carpet. Like, aside from their dozens of personal trainers, nutritionists, plastic surgeons, and makeup artists, these celebs go through a lot to get ready for award shows, and we did some research on what exactly goes into the process. Get your Xanax ready and take notes. 1. Toning-Specific Workouts Most celebrities (maybe with the exception of Jennifer Lawrence) already work out all year-round, so it’s not like they start sprinting marathons and doing a […] Read more »

Taylor Swift Wrote A Sad, Handwritten Poem For British 'Vogue'

Say what you want about Taylor Swift (which, believe me, I will), but we can all agree the girl is a gifted songwriter. That I cannot deny, no matter how much I hate her interpersonal relationships and personal brand and everything about who she chooses to be. But honestly, I'm starting to rethink even her songwriting abilities after she published this very sad, handwritten poem in British It's called "The Trick To Holding On," and it's pretty long, but I really want you all to experience its full effect. I'll be inserting my poetical analysis, because I majored in Creative Writing in college and this may be my one chance to use my degree. (Take that, dad!)   The author of this poem appears to be New Taylor, the Taylor who does not have time for anyone's criticisms of her bullshit. She's letting it all go: the ones who hurt her (the […] Read more »

The Official Ranking Of The Victoria's Secret Angels

    Perhaps more than anything, humans enjoy order. That's why, as surely as winter brings 2pm sunsets and misery, it also brings the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show: an institution that endures largely unchanged, persisting by only making slightly fewer alterations than Kim Kardashian's plastic surgeon. The models starve themselves. A safe, bland pop act performs. One of the models has an OMG SO CUTE "improvised" interaction with the musical act if she's fucking him. Someone stuffs their cans into a $2 million bra. The sun rises on another day. But that's not enough! No, we demand even more order, especially when it comes to judging our fellow humans. That's why, beyond running the same hour-long porno flick for women (that's also porn for men), we're compelled to "rank" the models involved. "But Head Pro, didn't you do this last year?" you might be wondering. "Wait, that link just redirects […] Read more »

12 Black Friday Deals That Are So Amazing You Need To Start Emotionally Preparing Now

  It may not be Thanksgiving just yet, but fuck it. Really, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us. The Starbucks peppermint mocha is out of retirement, and I’m ready for absolutely everything to smell like pine needles. I've already started playing Mariah Carey’s only relevant iconic Christmas album on repeat, and most importantly, I’m ready to blow my hard(ly)-earned money on gifts for myself the important people in my life. It’s the season of giving... or something like that. So after Thanksgiving comes Black Friday, fucking obviously. For some lame-ass reason, it’s not a nationally recognized holiday, but it’s never really too early to start preparing for the biggest and best shopping day of the year. This is one of the rare times procrastination won’t get the best of us, so start thinking of a game plan for this year and get a head start on […] Read more »

The 5 Fashion Trends That Will Be Everywhere This Spring

  Since last week, New York Fashion Week has been in full swing. That means we're seeing slightly fugly avant-garde fashion, more goth makeup than usual, and a fuck ton of models on the South Beach Fat Flush, strutting runways only the rich and famous get to touch. If you’ve checked Instagram in the last two minutes, you’d see all the celebs we love to hate are flooding our feeds with flashy parties that look better than any club in Meatpacking. For the time being, using “street style” as an excuse to defend our lazy brunch outfits is forgiven. While that all remains the same every year, each season also means we're getting a fair notice on what to start wearing so we don't look like homeschooled jungle freaks. This is the fashion world so even though fall barely started, we're already looking forward to seeing which knockoffs will hit the […] Read more »

What To Bring To A Music Festival So You Don't Die Before The Headliner

  I love music festivals more than the average person. Any place with good music, drinks, and slutty fashion-forward attire is like, my second home. Ive honestly been to way too many to count, so Im like, a pro. In a way, theyre as close to as Ill get, being that they almost always take place on some island. Most venues are super strict with what you can bring in because NGL, a lot of idiots think these events are a great time to start a drug ring. Not only are you limited, but you dont want to bring too much because who the hell wants to dance with a fucking backpack for hours, anyway? So, if youve ever been to one of these overpriced Coachella imitations, you know the only thing you could probs bring is your phone, sunglasses, and cash. Have to break a seal? Good thing you […] Read more »

5 Beach Cover-Ups You Can Wear To The Bar

  I deal with stressful things in life like most rational people: procrastinate incessantly by doing other equally important things (shopping, thoroughly organizing my closet, eating takeout...etc.) and delaying until the last possible second. Then I wonder why my anxiety level is constantly that of Britney Spears 2007 meltdown. For example, this often happens with packing. Like, running a mile sounds better than packing for anything ever, even a vacation that I know will be fun. It is literally so annoying to plan out your outfits because no matter how hard you try not to, you end up packing enough clothes to last you 6 years, even when youre only staying 3 days. Whether its for a tropical vacation or just spending the day at the beach, I know overpacking is almost as bad of a habit as binge drinking. To (slightly) condense your beach suitcase bag, here are cover-ups […] Read more »

Trendy Summer High Heels That Are Comfortable Enough To Day Drink In

  NGL, Ive never been a shoe person until like, this year. I know, who even am I? Luckily for me, I left that dark period behind. I went from having a solid five pairs of shoes I used for every occasion, to having my own shoe closetaside from my wardrobe, duhbecause Im basically Carrie Bradshaw now (or so I tell myself). This seasons shoe game has been my fave ever since the naked shoe got serious upgrades (thanks for the trend, Yeezy), and velvet block heel sandals became a thingbecause anything in velvet is always better, dont fight me on this. From time to time, I enjoy sporting Adidas and strutting in ballet flats even in unbearable heat, but when Im trying to capture the very essence of a well overdue blackout in broad daylight, I need some wedges and heels to stumble around in. I mean, despite how […] Read more »

Denim Essentials You Need In Your Closet Right Now

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  By now, its as clear as day that this denim craze has really taken off. Everywhere I look, I see another article of clothing made out of denimIm just waiting to see denim underwear at this point. Apparently its socially acceptable to wear denim on denim, and then with some more denim. Who knew Britney and JT were such trendsetters? I mean, for fucks sake, every store has its own Denim Shop. The versatile material is emerging left and right in an assortment of colors and a variety of styles ranging from dresses to vests to overalls (because again, if it was cool in the 90s, its cool again). This summer is all about dressing like you could be on the cover of just by wearing a distressed oversized sweater and some ragged denim shorts. With Bonnaroo this weekend, festival season is officially fully in swing. Perfect for any […] Read more »